today in art history we finished watching “modigliani”,which is about the artist modigliani and his love life and life as an artist, whatever whatever. there’s a part in the movie when he goes to city hall to obtain a marriage license so he can marry his love, who is the mother of his one child and one unborn child. he’s waiting so long, though, that he falls asleep on a bench and doesn’t wake up until one of the workers comes to kick him out. he needs the license that day, though, so he runs to the front of the room and begs one of the workers to let him sign the papers because its so urgent, and begins telling her about his situation. it wasn’t him saying “i have a beautiful daugher and one on its way” that convinces the worker to let him sign the papers, but its because she notices that his hands are covered in paint. “you’re a painter?” she says, “so am i” and hands him a license to fill out.

my hands are covered in pastel right now. its comforting. even if my work isn’t done, having the colors on my hands to prove that im working makes me feel accomplished.